Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Get Off Your High Horse Lady….

Lava . Lava flowing down the streets.. No one can survive that dude!”

What.The.Fuck? I was laughing at these retards sitting in a hurdle, hollering at each other over issues. Issues that ranged from lighting a half-smoked beedi to the Triple Knockout Punch to Japan from Mother Nature.

I was travelling in a local train back home from a colleague’s wedding, in a compartment that had triple the number of people it could carry. And it seemed that the epicenter of everything stupid – from being oblivious of the “Smoking Prohibited” sign in the train compartments to the fact that Tsunamis involve water and not lava (Looking back, this might not be their fault after all. This is what you get when you watch too much of NDTV & Sagarika Ghose). 

A sudden comment from a well-dressed lady that questioned the parentage of the men broke all hell loose. A fight broke out. Not a fistfight. Bengalis never wield fists. Their tongues are better at the art than their maach-bhaat muscles. Two ladies had objected to the loud hollering and the beedi-jalayile-fog in the compartment. Hence the commotion.

Yo dawwg! Local train iz da thang yo!!
Correction – the local trains in Bengal do not carry ladies. Ladies who like chocolate and like their bunnies close by while asleep or ladies who smiley-SMS their boyfriends 10 times/second that is. The women (most of them, I apologize to generalize) here are Mamata-fangirls. And therefore, to say that the ladies have the upper hand in a tongue-wagging, fist-swirling, eye-rolling debate here is a massive under-statement. 

And caught in the crossfire was me. I knew that taking sides was meaningless, as both parties were wrong. Men – to smoke beedis, and the ladies – to use words that would make Army jawans wet their pants.

I was desperately trying to lose myself in my iPod, but to no avail. I started cursing myself for taking a train back home, at a time when offishers and claarks ruled the locomotive routes.

After my initial struggle, I gave in and switched the gadget off. And just stood there. The fight had receded. The ladies were still grumbling. And the jokes kept being pounded on each other till kingdom come.

But there was a subtle difference. Some of the jokes and the meaningless, crude leg-pulling actually were making me laugh, now that I was paying more attention (though forced). And laughing with me were passengers who belonged to every damn class that India held in its bold but scarred economy. The laborers, the hawkers, the peons, the clerks, the office assistants, the team-leaders, the assistant managers, et al. If BJP would have been in my place, “India Shining” would have been baptized “India Smirking” for sure.

And then they came. Random, unexpected incidents. Two guys who had been swearing the most and who I had labeled ‘pigs’ for the first half-hour of travel, gave up their seats to two elderly ladies – and were the most modest, loving examples of men you could imagine. A guy who had smuggled beedis into the compartment gave away his lunch to 2 little kids at a station. An impromptu donation campaign was worked up inside the compartment for a co-passenger some barely knew – who had confessed to his kids’ school fees going unpaid because of fat medical bills back home.

Did they feel Jesus-y for a day? Maybe. Was it just an off day for Satan? Maybe.

I am not justifying the wrongs. All I want to say is – You need to get off your high horse, lady, to appreciate what is good around you.

For I was wrenched off the high pedestal I had placed myself on, by the collar, by these very men who I thought were repulsive and sick. Sure they still were, but that didn’t stop them from having shades of good too, innit?

It only took me an hour’s train ride to realize it. What will it take of you?


  1. too too tooooooooooooo gud!!!!! i could actually visualize it...pwr of ur wrds!!! jus lovely!!!

  2. Well....that was too good and we all face similar situations but the way you have penned it down is awesome!!! Sure everyone has to have something good in them or how else life would be so just need eyes to see them.

  3. yeah you are right... everyone has some shades of good too...and if we can't see that its our fault actually...good work!loved it!!

  4. avoid train journeys.... what else can be done.... ;) ;)

  5. next time come by bus and share ur exp once again :D

  6. btw u can make any damn silly thing on this planet interesting by adding Ur own creativity to it.good job :)

  7. Shades of grey !! Loved the 'beedi-jalailey-fog' reference. LOL.
    As usual.. AWESOME creativity and story-telling! Cheers brother :)

  8. wow dj! this is awesome :) i love it!!

  9. wonderful visualization effect! n yeah all the pathetic, creepy people we see all around us probably have some good in them else this world would have gone to the dumps a long long ago! Life is stranger than fiction.

  10. yeah. We do judge too soon. I mean when I started reading this blog I thought it was imaginative, creative, funny... oh wait. =D

  11. @Angana - Thank you! :)
    @Mashi - Yep.
    @Diya - Thanks.
    @Sush - Cab rides?!
    @Chin - You know where my inspiration comes from, right?! :)
    @Didi - Cheers! Wait. Where is the Beer? :P
    @Neha di - Thank you! I love it too! :P
    @Suggi - Right.
    @KKK - Maaro SAALE ko..

  12. loved the comment ur friend kulin gave....hhehehhee...hey wait...dont b angry...u were gud too...see..i m gud