Monday, March 21, 2011

Smoke on the Water

I have noticed a peculiar-est thing at work of late. But before that, I need to tell you about a peculiar-er thing I noticed at work. There are only 2 washrooms on our floor, set a mile away from where our workstations are.

But within each of those 2 washrooms, there are 4 washbasins, 2 thrones, and enough space to let Shoaib Akhtar practice his run-ups. Very Peculiar. Considering the fact that people at work generally have not been witnessed practicing Shoaib Akhtar-ish run ups while taking a leak, especially with deadlines snapping away at their feet like a dysfunctional flush button.

I digress. The peculiar-est thing I noticed last week was the fact that every time I had the urge to let the river flow, and half-ran, half-walked a mile to the 2 washrooms, they happened to be occupied. Every time. EVERY FUCKING TIME.

After doing the needful, post a mini Kathhak Tap dance for 15 minutes outside the washrooms, I trudge back to my desk. And I instantly know it is some unholy nexus at work to keep me off the corporate success (B)ladder.

For every time I drag myself back from such emotional ordeals, I find 2 of my colleagues sniggering and looking at their respective watches.

This was what I could figure out with my intense psychoanalytical skills I have acquired, while trying to block out the psychoanalytical invasions of my Missuj after being late on a date.

Colleague 1: Haha, 20 minutes. I think we had Pal.
Colleague 2: LOLMAX. 5 more minutes, and we could have had an exPALosion at hand. 
Colleague 1: There’s always a next time.

More sniggering. 

Enough of that bitchezz. I have already hatched a counter-plan and put it to action.

Now each time Colleague 1/2 gets up to let the fairy out, I run and beat them to the washroom. Oh yeah! #FunFunFun

If I find the door unlocked, I walk straight in and slam it shut. Then I pull out my iPod, listen to ‘Smoke on the Water’ and execute the song. Yes. I am Da Man! And then walk out and snigger at my Tap-dancing Colleague.

If I find the door locked, I still win. I walk back, tap-dancing, and snigger at the Colleague. Piss off mate! Oh no, wait, you can’t. More sniggering. 

The plan is working.

And that, folks, is that.  


  1. hahahha...wat observation of the peculiar(s) and HOW TRUE!!!
    let me share one sch peculiar thing dat hppns b4 ur lovely nyt's slp, (esp. to those who r up till late at nyt) i.e. jus wen u r done wid all ur late night activities (no pun intended) like net surfing, chatting, phone calls...and had managed to close the door slowly so dt nbdy wud knw or get distrbd, finally made your bed, set the curtains right, placed the pillows, tucked in the mosquito net neatly, and all set to crawl into the 'chaddar'....u feel the nature's call coming...and every action required to go to the loo den, from opening the door to switching the lights on...swears to make a noise...and next...mum/dad says: "why r u up so late?" :S

  2. Fun fun fun times at work aa? There was this one time when a dude in our hostel got sick of ppl making him wait. So he went into the toilet cubicle, bolted it, jumped out from the top and ruined everyone's morning for the day, waiting. Needless to say it was fun fun fun.

  3. was really fun fun fun...enjoyed it...good one!:D

  4. I thought it was only countries that fought over rivers and streams....

  5. aahaaahaa ha....
    Wear a diaper next time and you'll be the one sniggering away to glory while ur colleagues bang their heads on how come u conquered NATURE CALLs!!
    Hilarious as usual... Good laugh on a boring offc day ;)

  6. It was funny but do you like, really??

  7. fun. Fun-er. fun-est. Thats how I'd describe the the story ofcrse. N yeah I wud agree wid Kutki..aah...a diaper WUD just do the trick. Could that be more Fun-est-ier !!

  8. The same scenario everywhr Dibyo...lolz...A good obesrvation humourously penned. Keep writing..good job..aha!

  9. @Angana - When Nature calls, she calls loud. :-D
    @KKK - Someone could have jumped back in and unbolted it no?!
    @Diya - Thank you.
    @Anirban - Now you know for the better.
    @Didi - Killer idea. But I would first want you to dummy-test a prototype project before executing it Live.
    @Sirjee - *Barkha Dutt style* Aapko kya lagta hai? WHAT ARE YOU FEELING RIGHT NOW? WHAT IS GOING ON IN YOUR MIND?!
    @Suggi - What could be Fun-est-est is You wear a diaper outside and fly off the building asap, Super-Baby!
    @Joyati di - Thank you! But Aha?!.. Ok I get it.. Limca!! :P *drinks whole bottle down*

  10. Grt post dude, memories came flashing bck to me of my grmtech days , nice to read n definitely smthin to share ... carry on entrtaining me as always :)

  11. Hilarrrious!!!...Ulki

  12. This was really funny dude! Going to read your other posts in a bit :)

  13. @Soumyo - Thanks bhai!
    @Ulki - Great to know that you loved it! :)
    @Ravi - Read on mate! :-P

  14. hehehhehe...memories of travelling non stop in a haryana roadways parting jittering naturally air conditioned bus with stingy springs on seats which wud give needle bed sleeping babas a shame, for 6 hours clutching my stomach for a break...jumping at isbt stop in delhi....whooooaaaaaaaaa....relief...